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To honor 911, spare the calls about snoring

By Dave Lieber
The Star-Telegram

Something's wrong. Who you gonna call? No, not Ghostbusters.

You dial 911 and don't think twice when a dispatcher answers. Even if your call is strange enough to attract Ripley's attention as a believe-it-or-not tale.

"A guy kept calling us to confess his sins," Haltom City 911 ace Cheryl Johnson said. "He was off his medication. They just think we're it. We're the higher power."

Very few of those calls are life-or-death emergencies. You aren't supposed to call 911 unless it is truly an emergency. But many folks don't realize that.

Here's the proof:

* "We had a call about a nude man in Terminal 4E at the airport. Sure enough, he was naked and obviously on drugs. The officers used pepper spray with no effect. And the man ran away, out into the parking lot. But he reappeared in the terminal -- nude again. They finally got their man."

-- Treva Jackson, communications supervisor, Dallas/Fort Worth Airport Department of Public Safety

* "A couple called one night and said they heard some loud noises in their house. The officers went out and checked. What they ended up finding was a tape recorder in the bedroom. The man snored real loud, and he disagreed with his wife about how loud he was snoring. So she recorded him. And on this particular night, instead of hitting record, she hit play, and it started playing his snoring. It startled them both."

-- Janet Cowart, telecommunicator, Watauga Department of Public Safety

* "I got a call that a 6-month-old child was choking on a chicken bone. My first thought was, `Why would they give that to a 6-month-old?' We sent the Fire Department and the ambulance and everybody else out there. After they arrived, the Fire Department called back and said, `This is not even a human. This is a 6-month-old chow [dog].' "

-- Cheryl Johnson, dispatcher, Haltom City Police Department

* "On Thanksgiving Day 1997, a woman called sobbing that she had ruined her turkey. Nobody told her that you had to take the plastic bag of innards out before you cook it. She had overcooked the bird, too. Her husband and his parents were in the next room, she said, and she was calling from a closet in the bedroom. She was too embarrassed to tell them, because she had only been married for three months. She asked what to do, so I told her that this would be a great opportunity for her to bond with her new mother-in-law. `Pull her off to the side and tell her what happened,' I said. `Maybe between the two of you, you can come up with a solution.' She ended the conversation by saying, `Please don't be mad that I called 911. This really is an emergency to me.' Another life saved."

-- Lori Carver, communications supervisor, Keller Police Department

* "A caller said she was involved in an accident at a major intersection. The caller was advised that we needed to know exactly where the accident occurred. So when I asked her where her vehicle was, she answered `With me.' "

-- Donna Jacobs, communications supervisor, Richland Hills Police Department

* "The power was out, and a lady called and wanted to know when the power would come back on. I told her she would have to call TU Electric. So, since she had me on the line, she asked, `What is your advice to me? Should I hold dinner or take the family out to eat?' I told her, `I'd go out.' "

-- Gayle Konikoff, communications officer, Colleyville Police Department

* "I was on duty one Sunday and it was pretty slow. A gentleman told me that his daughter worked at the family's boutique and that they had signals worked out where if she had a problem, she could call home and tell about her problem without really saying it. So she called home and gave a signal, and the father called 911 because she had given the signal that something suspicious was going on. He wanted the police to go over there. When the officers pulled up, the daughter was extremely embarrassed. She had needed her parents to come over and watch the cash register. She told the officers, `I gave them the signal that I needed to go to the bathroom. But they got the signal wrong.' "

-- Theresa Jones, communications specialist, Southlake Department of Public Safety

Remember, don't call 911 if you ruined the turkey or if your husband snores. Only dial that number in an emergency.

Sadly, because it's a non-emergency call, you can't even dial 911 and wish the person who answers a happy National Telecommunicators' Week.

Dave Lieber's column appears
Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays
(817) 685-3830
dlieber@star-telegram.com

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